This blog is mostly for me, where i'm not afraid to say what I feel.

I hate having to berate my mom but it’s unavoidable. I feel like I’m the parent. She doesn’t understand that by permitting this toxic environment she is inhibiting the further regression of my sisters. I don’t want them to turn out like JoAnn. I don’t even considering her family yet here she is poisoning Sam and Megan with her drugs and bullshit. I hate feeling like I’m the responsible one, just because I know I’m the only one that will do what’s right. By allowing JoAnn to live there mom is once again choosing her and drugs over the well being of the rest of the family. I don’t understand how she doesn’t see that. I just really can’t take losing my sisters, and I don’t want to have to disconnect myself from them. I hate seeing them like this. It’s all so scary. This is why I feel so detached all the time, I have to be, because when you care about people, that vulnerability will ruin you.